25 more days and this little girl is going to be 1-year-old
That seems soon
I of course am remembering the great parts of the year…the birth (looking back it was beautiful, just as they all were), the celebrations and congratulations, the sweet little baby gifts
It makes me so sad to think any part of her birth was a ‘difficult or a sad time’ for our little family.
I look at her and think to myself, she is something, someone to celebrate. I was scared of the ‘unknown’. The lack of information was scary.
I always wonder in the back of my mind, if I had to do it all over again, would I find out the diagnosis of Down syndrome before hand? I have written before about what a worry-wart I can be. I think the way we did it, was meant to be. If I had found out the diagnosis, I would have probably been worried and scared throughout the pregnancy.
And for what?
I look at her, watch her, spend time with her and think to myself, I have nothing to worry about. AND for those rebel rousers who might argue, “future years might be something to worry about”. The truth is, she will always be my baby girl. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for any of my children.
Now, when they turn 18 and express interest in working as a fisherman on an Alaskan fishing boat, right now at this moment in my life, I will help them pack their bags. But when they need to come back home to ‘regroup’, I will unpack their bags. Talk to me again in 15 years and I might have a different perspective.
Worry is a waste of my time.
I wouldn’t do it any differently.
At least that’s what I conclude in my head. The reality is, I will never know. Maybe I am just trying to justify my actions. Whose to say?
I am sure somewhere in the back of my mind, I will always wonder.
