ONE HUNDRED FORTY THREE…a comedy of errors

Cecilia had therapy this morning. My plan for the day was to take her to therapy, rush home for a quick shower and then head south 72 miles. Cecilia had an Orthopedic appointment in Boca Raton at 1:30. By my calculations, it was going to take me around one hour and twenty minutes to arrive.

I sat Abby down in the living room when Cecilia and I returned from therapy and asked her if she wanted to go with us to the doctor’s appointment or did she want to stay home with Daddy? She chose to stay home with Daddy just in case her friends in the neighborhood wanted to play. I knew if she chose to stay, Phoebe would follow her.

I went over my expectations of her if she was going to stay:

1. no painting finger/toe nails in the house, outside only.

2. you can make yourself and Phoebe left overs from yesterday or a PB&J for lunch.

3. play in the toy room, out in the backyard and ride bikes around the cul-de-sac but not down the street.

4. Please don’t play in my bedroom/closet/bathroom.

5. Be safe.

6. Make good choices.

7. If your thinking about doing something myself or Daddy might get upset about…

DON’T DO IT!!

I then asked her if she could keep an eye on Phoebe and Cecilia so I can hop in the shower…”Sure thing Mom!” I make myself a 32 ounce bottle of ice water and headed back for a nice steaming hot shower. If I have to, I can get ready in a 15 minute period (shower, makeup, clothes and out the door). I was in a hurry and needed today to be a 15 minute period kind of day.

As soon as I was dressed and ready to go, I come out of our bedroom and Cecilia is on the couch watching ‘Mr. Peabody and Sherman’…and all of the sudden, I hear the food processor. As I round the corner, Abby and Phoebe are so proud of themselves for making eggs, flower, brown sugar, cherry’s (with the pits in them of course), a couple more eggs, baking soda, honey (obviously) and 4 bananas. Abby and Phoebe had all my glass jars of baking ingredients out on the kitchen counter. Of course Abby was turning the food processor on without the pusher in the tunnel (the thing that pushes the food down to the main bowl). So to say that the banana, egg, honey and flour mixture was everywhere, just doesn’t seem to cover it. And then I saw these large white pellets in the mixture and immediately asked Phoebe what they were to which she replied, “They’re gum balls Mommy! We wanted you to chew it and blow bubbles.”

Abby held the bowl up with such a proud look on her face and said, “We made this all by ourselves Mommy! We got the eggs and cracked them all by ourselves, Aren’t you proud of us? I can start helping you cook more at night!” I’m trying to hold it together but my head is imploding and I am about to release tears of frustration. I take a deep breath and put a smile on my face and told her, “it looked and smelled…like nothing I’ve ever smelled before. I am glad you decided to do this while I was still home! Will you let me help you clean up? I can’t believe you did this all by yourself. Next time tell me, so we can do it together!” Of course my subtext which I managed to keep completely hidden was, “It looked disgusting and smelled worse, the gum balls really freaked me out…I have 20 minutes before I have to leave and instead of getting toys for Cecilia to play with in transit and at the appointment, I will be cleaning up the mess you made…ugh! This would definitely qualify as something Mommy and Daddy might get upset about…so really DON’T DO IT!!! UGH!!!”I had a couple of minutes left and Cecilia was asking me to brush her hair. So we sit on the couch together and before the brush can even touch her hair, I hear glass shattering. I stand up and put Cecilia on the couch and rush back to the commotion. Phoebe runs up to me and says, “I’m so sorry mom…I broke a glass in the sink. I’m so sorry Mom!” I told her, “it was an accident, everyone has accidents, your ok so lets clean it up…I’ve got to go!”
Of course, as I got myself and Cecilia into the car, I was second guessing my decision to leave the girls at home with Daddy after their baking experiment. But all in all,Cecilia and I made it to the Ortho appointment and all the way home without complication. And luckily, the kitchen had been spared from more culinary experiments. I wish I could say the same for the rest of the house, but at least my girls were just as I left them.

But really…sometimes I feel like my life is a comedy of errors.